In the only conversation that Will and I had about the impacts of an untimely death, Will shared his heart with me. He shared that his fear would be Malia growing up not knowing him. In my last moments in his hospital room, I promised him that his daughter would know his love for her. In addition to this promise, I would have it no other way. This is why I go so hard. This is why, for the rest of my life, our people will always hear from us about celebrating Will’s life. This is why the times/seasons that are hard for me, I dig deep to find constructive ways to press through and get closer to God, so that Malia has a practical example of how to navigate her feelings, so that hopefully she never has to experience the depth of grief that I have.
I will forever do my best to bring as many people that are able and willing together to show Malia the reach that her Dad had and the village we as her parents want to surround her with so that she is assured that she is never alone. Even if 10, 20, 30 years from now our parties shrink to be only myself and Malia, you can be sure that the life of William Maignan is being honored and celebrated in spite of our pain.
Being that I have had my Dad very much involved in my life and have experienced the impact of our relationship, I know that there is value to our father/daughter bond and how it has influenced how I have come to see myself, what I think of myself, what is important in life, and what is possible.
I long for Malia to have constant reminders of her Dad, his love for her, and examples of his heart. My motivation for that is this: I am hoping that it will create and nurture the closeness that she is physically unable to have, to the extent of providing comfort and an ease to the pain of his passing. To essentially mimic the influence he would have had in her life had he been waking up with her everyday – defining her as precious and valuable, and readily available to her to meet any need.
Imagine now, that God longs for us to have constant reminders of Him, to know His love and His heart, even more than I want it for Malia and Will! With the motivation being: so that we base these things in Him – how we see ourselves, what we think of ourselves, what is important in life, and what is possible. Allowing His influence to define us as precious and valuable, and being assured that He is readily available to meet any need.