Thy Will, My Sacrifice.

I typically write out my thoughts and feelings and share them through a lengthy social media post or as a blog post on my website, Thy Will My Sacrifice. Yall really do not see me share my thoughts and feelings in the capacity of a video post unless I feel specifically led in this direction – and that is exactly what’s happening today.

Initially, I just wanted to share context to how Malia and I have navigated our first “Daddy-Daughter Dance” for her school, as a family in which her Daddy has passed away. However, as I had been praying over this and listening to how Holy Spirit is leading me today, the direction I am receiving is that my voice is for more than just opening my life for others to appreciate his care for me. He has intentionally and strategically wired me to contribute to teaching others how to invite the presence of God into their own lives and situations too.

That is what I have discerned I am receiving, so that is what I am going to do! I will say thank you now, to anyone who chooses to stick it out and receive what I have to share 🙂

For me, all of this has bubbled up as a result of reflecting on my weekend. And I know, going into the start of the work week, EVERYONE will encounter someone who will ask them – How was your week end? So, I want to introduce this little Spring/Summer series I am going to call “Selah Sunday”. I will share a separate message unpacking that title another time.

However, for now, we are going to dig into the super common question How are you? So that as you go through the week, you can apply the information we will walk through here, to take up space in your own life and create space for the presence of God to reveal himself.

How are you?

-I lowkey really dislike this question (we ask it so casually without appreciating that in order to truly understand how someone is, requires us to slow down and make space to listen)

-do you want a casual/in passing answer, or do you want to hear a full expression of how I am?

-our transparency and vulnerability to share how we really are, allows us to open our lives and serve as an expression of God’s heart for people to witness and experience Holy Spirit’s presence.

1. Identifying & articulating how you feel
   1. Feelings Wheel
2. Listening & Empathy
   1. Listen
      1. Hear – to receive or become aware of sound through ears
      2. Listen – to make a conscious and active effort understand
   2. Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another
3. Nurture those feelings
   1. Lament – mourn the hard feelings and enjoy the pleasant feelings
4. Hope – God’s perspective
   1. Actively look for God’s perspective on the situation
      1. Is He planting thoughts or feelings on the inside of you in response to your feelings?
      2. Pick up your bible! What does His word say about you situation?
         1. Spoiler – EVERYTHING  is in there. Whatever your situation, I promise you – God has an opinion on it. If you cannot find it, drop a comment, send me a DM, reach out to me in some way and I will personally help you identify what the word says about your specific situation. And that is not because I am all knowing or some expert on the bible. It is because I trust His word and my resources of community to find you an answer!

So, to wrap up, I do really want to share with you all how I am! Again, this weekend, Malia went to her first school dance – which happened to be a Daddy-Daughter Dance. If you don’t know, Malia’s Daddy passed away when she was only 1 yr old. So from a surface level view that makes this moment very hard for her and I to encounter. However, God so graciously filled this week and weekend with so much love! I am grateful!

To start, if you don’t know, William’s big brother, Philip, has been the personification of reliable in my life since the day that I met him. Whether it was showing up at Will’s beck n call to help us move, to hang out, or to do the manual labor of putting furniture together while Will supervised by reading the instructions, to even now in Will’s passing how Philip has shown up for me and Malia without missing a beat. From going out of his way to come take our trash out weekly (bro, we still have trash that needs to go out every week – hit me if you want parts ! Jk), participating in picking Malia up from school throughout the week, and literally any and everything we could ever ask of him. He shows up, consistently and lovingly, and I am so grateful for his heart towards us! He is the one who stood in  for Malia for her Daddy daughter dance, even though he only did a two step for her.

I feel grateful for the true quality time shared with family this weekend. On Friday, we got to see some NY fam, that we haven’t seen in person for so long! And Saturday, before the dance, we gathered as a family to hype Lia up and send her and her Uncle Phil off to their dance for the night. In the midst of that family time, we did get to fit in some real quality conversations, exchanging heart and mind and life experiences – I live for that depth! So I am super grateful for that tie with family.

And lastly, and definitely most importantly, I am grateful for God’s faithfulness. I did cry to myself, while Malia napped in the car as we drove to her hair appointment on Saturday. And then when I spoke to Malia after the dance, she broke out into tears, sharing with me that she felt sad as she missed her Daddy being with her. Our reality still and likely will forever stir up feelings of sadness and demonstrative emotions of the same. However, for both of us, the sadness if just one of the feelings we were able to identify. Malia also identified feeling excited about sharing the night with Uncle Phi. And for me – I am super emotional – so I wept with a heart full of gratitude for how faithful God has been, not just in helping me to navigate these hard moments, but in how he is leading Malia. I wept today, grateful for the peace of mind knowing that the loving and caring God that has mended my hearts, also holds Malia’s heart. So even as I watch the tears fall because she is sad, I rest assured that His faithfulness continues through generations! And it is only a matter of time for Him to reveal Himself and His love for her to her personally.

So – if you are planning to ask me about my weekend or how I am doing, for starters, you can know that my weekend was wonderful and I am grateful! And as you prepare for this coming week, I challenge you to make space even now, to reflect and identify how are you, how has your weekend impacted how you are feeling? And as people inevitably ask you this week – How are you? I give you permission to answer their question with a question – do you want a causal response or are you interested in a full expression of how I am? Listen in return with empathy. And seek Gods perspective either for yourself and your own situations, or on behalf of another. To be a contributor to bringing hope and love into their situation.

Selah – be blessed!